It's funny how the human mind works. Each sense can invoke a memory long dormant, stored in the recesses of our brain. The smell of a flower. The silhouette of an image. The hum of a song. The taste of something you forgot you once had. The familiar trace of fingers along your body.
Sometimes the good memories show up, and it brightens your entire day. Sometimes they'll bring a tear to your eye and shake you to your core.
Good or bad, the memories that burst through make who I am. What I am. And those experiences helped to shape my life to the point it's at now. My mother passed when she was 39, barely having seen a fraction of the wonders that my eyes have witnessed in the last four. Her death fractured our family apart, as she was the glue that held us intact. Only in the last few years have the pieces of my family been precariously placed back together. It's been slow going, but the difference is noticeably night and day. This bonding of father and son and the continuing life lessons are what helped me decide to remain in Taiwan for another year, though my heart yearns to be back home in Texas, where my friends are, where things are familiar.
Don't worry though, I'll be back for a while, and before you know it, I'll be back for good. Just try not to forget about me.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Friday, October 28, 2011
Saturday, December 11, 2010
It's been a long December...
It will have been 14 years since that song came out from the Counting Crows, yet it still resonates with me. The soulful lyrics bring me back to those lonely December nights where I felt I had no direction in life, and the month just seemed to stretch on forever. The weather being cold, drab and overcast only added to the misery.
This December marks 20 years since my mom passed away so unexpectedly. My family tells me that I changed so much overnight, from a rambunctious 10 year old to one that was very quiet. While my character change was dramatic, her death and subsequent losses the next few years made me the person I am today. Strong willed. Independent. Caring. For that, I am happy in the fact that I know I am the kind of man that would make a mother proud of her son. Yet I feel incomplete. There is still a yearning to explore and enjoy life and all its wonders and mysteries, but also at the same time settle down and raise a family. Who knows what the next year will bring, but like the lyrics say, "maybe this year will be better than the last."
This December marks 20 years since my mom passed away so unexpectedly. My family tells me that I changed so much overnight, from a rambunctious 10 year old to one that was very quiet. While my character change was dramatic, her death and subsequent losses the next few years made me the person I am today. Strong willed. Independent. Caring. For that, I am happy in the fact that I know I am the kind of man that would make a mother proud of her son. Yet I feel incomplete. There is still a yearning to explore and enjoy life and all its wonders and mysteries, but also at the same time settle down and raise a family. Who knows what the next year will bring, but like the lyrics say, "maybe this year will be better than the last."
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Wow, 2 months since my last post.
Hey folks, I can't believe it's already been two month's since my last post, so I need to catch everyone up on what's been going on.
I finished my 1st semester of Chinese class at Shida two weeks ago, but decided not to register for the upcoming semester, as I want to focus on getting a job and restarting my career. That lull in my resume will become a bigger question for future employers the longer I am without a job.
I interviewed with two companies, a small high tech company, and ASUS, a globally recognized company. I would have loved to work for ASUS, as that would have allowed me to possibly transfer back to the US with a job with ASUS in either California, or their office in Austin. However, like AMD, the interviewer at ASUS was concerned about my Chinese language ability, since I would have needed to communicate with their R&D/Engineering departments and the dialogue would have been outside my current level. She did however, offer me some freelance editing work for some of their Marketing copy, as well as pass on my resume to other departments who might not need such a high requirement for Mandarin. So, I'll most likely be working for the other company, not that that's a bad thing. Since it's a small company, I'll get to work with a lot of different departments and learn a lot of various roles, which could translate better down the line, whenever I do move back to the states/wherever.
As for the semester (quarter) of school, I learned a lot in those three months, and made some lasting friendships that I'll always remember. Hanging out with my classmates after class definitely made me feel like I was back in college, and helped stave off that feeling of isolation before class started. Some moved back to the states, another taking a class elsewhere, another is doing some traveling with his dad, and the rest, save me, continued on with their studies, albeit not in the same class or teacher. If I do find a job, I'll try to find a private tutor, or maybe do some language exchange with someone who knows pinyin, so I can continue my studies. I should pick it up much faster, since I'd be forced to use it all day interact with coworkers.
Other important items of note that's happened is my brother and sister-in-law came to Taiwan to visit my dad so we could celebrate his 60th birthday together. It was a fabulous Japanese style dinner, with my mom's side of the family on hand to see both my brother and I together for the first time in over five years. Along with his visit, he dropped off my new Taiwanese passport, so I dont have to leave every 60 days with my US passport, and can save some money.
Since my 60 days were coming up, I needed to make a trip somewhere, but I also already had a Chinese visa that I got when my original plan was to move to Shanghai to learn Mandarin. Luckily, my former roommate Vic came to the rescue! His work sent him to Shanghai to do some training, and put him up in the Holiday Inn. Now, you're probably thinking, "the Holiday Inn? Couldn't he have stayed somewhere nicer?" Well, turns out in Shanghai, and outside the US, Holiday Inn is quite nice, being a 4 star hotel. Vic, being the ever gracious friend, offered his room for me to stay in for the week I would be visiting. I got to explore Shanghai during the day, and met up for dinner after he got off work. We ate great gastronomical feasts for dinner, and enjoyed every minute of it. Pictures will be posted on Facebook, all taken by Victor the überphotographer.
My friends have asked what I thought of Shanghai, and I respond by saying that I loved the city, the architecture, and history, but couldn't stand the people. I'm not sure if it's all mainland Chinese, or just people from Shanghai, but they were some of the most rude, uncivilized people I've ever experienced. They're loud and obnoxious in person and on their mobile phones, push and shove to get in and out of places, when waiting a few extra seconds would allow for everyone not to rub up on each other, and have no respect for others when waiting in line. I was routinely cut in front when queuing for the subway, buying tickets to the World Expo, and even ordering food. Once I spoke up and confronted them about it, they would apologize and back off, but seriously, have some patience people! However, I'd say the thing that bothered me the most was the hygiene, or rather, lack thereof, of the people I encountered. They hack and cough, spit and excrete without care, wherever, whenever. The most disgusting thing I saw was a mother squat her son down and opening up a slit in her son's pants to allow him to poop. In the middle of the sidewalk. When I saw this, I made a face and scoffed at her a bit, which embarrassed her, but only enough to move her son from the middle of the sidewalk closer to the edge near the street, to continue the poop. Blech.
In retrospect, I'm definitely glad that I made the option to stay in Taiwan to learn, as I can barely understand the Shanghainese accent, and not sure I could have stood dealing with the locals. It's made me appreciate so much more what I've experienced here in Taiwan, from the new friendships to being able to see my dad on a regular basis. Ok, time for bed, since I might need to take off suddenly tomorrow afternoon.
Ciao ciao!
I finished my 1st semester of Chinese class at Shida two weeks ago, but decided not to register for the upcoming semester, as I want to focus on getting a job and restarting my career. That lull in my resume will become a bigger question for future employers the longer I am without a job.
I interviewed with two companies, a small high tech company, and ASUS, a globally recognized company. I would have loved to work for ASUS, as that would have allowed me to possibly transfer back to the US with a job with ASUS in either California, or their office in Austin. However, like AMD, the interviewer at ASUS was concerned about my Chinese language ability, since I would have needed to communicate with their R&D/Engineering departments and the dialogue would have been outside my current level. She did however, offer me some freelance editing work for some of their Marketing copy, as well as pass on my resume to other departments who might not need such a high requirement for Mandarin. So, I'll most likely be working for the other company, not that that's a bad thing. Since it's a small company, I'll get to work with a lot of different departments and learn a lot of various roles, which could translate better down the line, whenever I do move back to the states/wherever.
As for the semester (quarter) of school, I learned a lot in those three months, and made some lasting friendships that I'll always remember. Hanging out with my classmates after class definitely made me feel like I was back in college, and helped stave off that feeling of isolation before class started. Some moved back to the states, another taking a class elsewhere, another is doing some traveling with his dad, and the rest, save me, continued on with their studies, albeit not in the same class or teacher. If I do find a job, I'll try to find a private tutor, or maybe do some language exchange with someone who knows pinyin, so I can continue my studies. I should pick it up much faster, since I'd be forced to use it all day interact with coworkers.
Other important items of note that's happened is my brother and sister-in-law came to Taiwan to visit my dad so we could celebrate his 60th birthday together. It was a fabulous Japanese style dinner, with my mom's side of the family on hand to see both my brother and I together for the first time in over five years. Along with his visit, he dropped off my new Taiwanese passport, so I dont have to leave every 60 days with my US passport, and can save some money.
Since my 60 days were coming up, I needed to make a trip somewhere, but I also already had a Chinese visa that I got when my original plan was to move to Shanghai to learn Mandarin. Luckily, my former roommate Vic came to the rescue! His work sent him to Shanghai to do some training, and put him up in the Holiday Inn. Now, you're probably thinking, "the Holiday Inn? Couldn't he have stayed somewhere nicer?" Well, turns out in Shanghai, and outside the US, Holiday Inn is quite nice, being a 4 star hotel. Vic, being the ever gracious friend, offered his room for me to stay in for the week I would be visiting. I got to explore Shanghai during the day, and met up for dinner after he got off work. We ate great gastronomical feasts for dinner, and enjoyed every minute of it. Pictures will be posted on Facebook, all taken by Victor the überphotographer.
My friends have asked what I thought of Shanghai, and I respond by saying that I loved the city, the architecture, and history, but couldn't stand the people. I'm not sure if it's all mainland Chinese, or just people from Shanghai, but they were some of the most rude, uncivilized people I've ever experienced. They're loud and obnoxious in person and on their mobile phones, push and shove to get in and out of places, when waiting a few extra seconds would allow for everyone not to rub up on each other, and have no respect for others when waiting in line. I was routinely cut in front when queuing for the subway, buying tickets to the World Expo, and even ordering food. Once I spoke up and confronted them about it, they would apologize and back off, but seriously, have some patience people! However, I'd say the thing that bothered me the most was the hygiene, or rather, lack thereof, of the people I encountered. They hack and cough, spit and excrete without care, wherever, whenever. The most disgusting thing I saw was a mother squat her son down and opening up a slit in her son's pants to allow him to poop. In the middle of the sidewalk. When I saw this, I made a face and scoffed at her a bit, which embarrassed her, but only enough to move her son from the middle of the sidewalk closer to the edge near the street, to continue the poop. Blech.
In retrospect, I'm definitely glad that I made the option to stay in Taiwan to learn, as I can barely understand the Shanghainese accent, and not sure I could have stood dealing with the locals. It's made me appreciate so much more what I've experienced here in Taiwan, from the new friendships to being able to see my dad on a regular basis. Ok, time for bed, since I might need to take off suddenly tomorrow afternoon.
Ciao ciao!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Ringing in CNY with the Mom's side
I'm writing today's blog from my uncle's place in Banqiao, where I attended a family lunch and dinner with my mom's side of the family, and am staying the night to spend tomorrow going shopping with my aunt (I think?). Now, while it's only been 5 years since my last visit to Taiwan, it's my first CNY here since I was the ripe old age of 5. So that's almost 25 years of not experiencing a CNY in the homeland, and let me tell ya, it was damn fun. My mom's whole side of the family gathered to celebrate, coming from various parts of Taiwan to visit. My mom was the oldest of 7, only one of which was a boy, so that means a lot of aunts to ask if I have a girlfriend or not. I told them they shouldn't be asking if I have a girlfriend, but rather when my brother is going to have kids :) Even though I'm almost 30, I'm still considered "young" because I'm single and am still given a hongbao (red packet) I'm not going to turn it down, as it would be rude to, but it does feel awkward to still be receiving gifts at my age.
Lunch was at a restaurant that featured a karaoke set in the private room we reserved, and listening to my aunts and cousins croon out Asians hits was hilarious. My aunts doing background dancing to one of the songs was a nice touch as well. The lunch was delicious as well, and I think we had 8 or so courses, but I won't tease you with all the food pics, mainly because I didn't take any.
After lunch, we all head back to my uncle's place and were somehow able to cram 16 of us in that tiny place. Over the next few hours, we gambled to throwing dice in a cup and putting bets on what numbers would show up. Think of a poor man's version of craps. Everyone played, including the same 10 year old female cousin who told the joke, and all my aunts and most of my cousins. It. was. a riot. Fun times indeed. Eventually dinner rolled around and we all ate wherever we could find space, since obviously we can't cram 16 people around a small little table suited for 6.
And now, I'm headed to bed, as it's past 1:30am here, and I've got a full day of walking around with my aunt tomorrow. Let's hope that the rain stops so we'll actually make it out. Xin nian kuai le!
Lunch was at a restaurant that featured a karaoke set in the private room we reserved, and listening to my aunts and cousins croon out Asians hits was hilarious. My aunts doing background dancing to one of the songs was a nice touch as well. The lunch was delicious as well, and I think we had 8 or so courses, but I won't tease you with all the food pics, mainly because I didn't take any.
After lunch, we all head back to my uncle's place and were somehow able to cram 16 of us in that tiny place. Over the next few hours, we gambled to throwing dice in a cup and putting bets on what numbers would show up. Think of a poor man's version of craps. Everyone played, including the same 10 year old female cousin who told the joke, and all my aunts and most of my cousins. It. was. a riot. Fun times indeed. Eventually dinner rolled around and we all ate wherever we could find space, since obviously we can't cram 16 people around a small little table suited for 6.
And now, I'm headed to bed, as it's past 1:30am here, and I've got a full day of walking around with my aunt tomorrow. Let's hope that the rain stops so we'll actually make it out. Xin nian kuai le!
Sunday, February 7, 2010
The weekend
Friday, February 5th:
I awake to my dad turning the light on into my room at 7am, which really,really, annoys me, but I am rested, so I begrudgingly wake up. The day consists of traveling downtown to get my visa issue taken care of, only to find out that I can't get a visa, since I'm already here. That means I'll have to leave Taiwan in 30 days and come back, so I'll get a trip to somewhere in Asia. Maybe Japan to visit my buddy Jason.
After the visa fiasco, I search around and find a place to take my Macbook Pro to be serviced, with the guy telling me to be back by 6pm, since he can't call me, as I am still without a working phone. In the meantime, I decided I need to take care of that problem, so I go get a prepaid SIM and pop it into my iPhone. I head back to the Apple shop, only for him to tell me that he can't get it working either, so he's sending it in to get the hard drive replaced, and I'll get it back on Wednesday. Here's hoping that it works when I get it back, and I can load all my stuff back onto it. It'll suck to have lost 2 years worth of photos.
For dinner, I call my dad, and we meet up for with his new girlfriend, who seems nice, but I still need to get to know her. After watching my dad interact with her, I am amazed at how he was able to land my mom with the way that he acts with women. Maybe it's just a different generational and cultural thing, partially the reason maybe I have a hard time connecting with my old man. My dad and I take the MRT back home, where he tortured me before going to sleep with his accordion playing.
Saturday, February 6th:
I went out with my dad to a hosted lunch by one of his friends celebrating CNY. He introduced me to one of his friends who has some experience in the semiconductor industry, and to discuss my career path/future. I later find out from my dad that he asked him to talk to me about trying to stay within an industry and not jump around from place to place. He said he had it in mind that if his friend helps me, then when his friend's child grows up, I can help him out too. It doesn't always quite work like that, as much as we would like it to.
After lunch, my dad and I parted ways, him to play mahjong with his friends, me to buy stuff for the condo, since my dad clearly does not know how to live like a decent bachelor. I went to the Carrefour (think super walmart) one stop down on the MRT from home, only to find the store had closed one week earlier. I think the sign said something about renovating it? I have no idea. In any case, I walk the rest of the way home, only to make it back right before it started pouring. I ended up staying the rest of the afternoon/night in catching up on tv shows and being bored out of my mind. I really need to start meeting people my own age to get out more.
Sunday, February 6th:
Today's the day I go see my mom's side of the family, who I hadn't see in 5 years, which was the last time I visited Taiwan. But first, I head over to the Shilin area to check out my dad's shop. He's rented out the 2nd and 3rd floors, but worked out a deal with the building's owner to have a giant advertisement on the outside of the building along the windows for all 5 floors. It's really well done, and looks pretty in the evening. The latest advertisement he has out features pictures of my brother and sister-in-law from their wedding photos, along with some other random women in dresses.
I take a look around, and it's well done inside, but then he sits me down to rehash/lecture the story of how he got to be where he is in his business. Now, I've heard this story before, multiple times even, and I got it the first time he told me. It's all getting a little old and tired, especially the part on him lecturing me about life and my career/future, etc, etc. It gets to the point I actually start developing a headache just from listening to it. I *rarely* get headaches, which will show you how much it actually bothers me listening to the same tired speech. I quickly nod and agree to everything just so I can leave and get to seeing my mom's side of the family.
After another 40min MRT ride, I finally make it to Banqiao, where four of my mom's six siblings are there to greet me, along with three of my nine cousins. It was great to see them again, and my little cousins are all grown up, but they all say that I haven't changed a bit, except that I lost some weight. I stay the day there, catch up with them, eat lunch/snacks/dinner before eventually heading to the MRT station to head back home. This entire time, my youngest cousin of 10 years old seems fascinated by me, and my general lack of knowledge of certain words and the inability to read most words. She's very inquisitive, asking if I know this word or that word, and being a typical 10 year old kid. Now, what I wasn't expecting was the joke that she told me that was for all intents and purposes, pretty racist. I won't repeat it on the blog, but I was in shock that my 10 year old female cousin. Definitely nothing on how my aunt/uncle raise her, but more so I think on playground humor, and how it's perpetuated as commonplace in Taiwan/Asia.
On the way back to the MRT, I have my first pretty white girl sighting in a very unlikely place. She was by herself on a street that's filled with street vendors for food during the day, but at night it's fairly empty and just an alleyway that doesn't even have a street designation on a map. Not a place you would expect to find a foreigner, and definitely not a pretty female one at that. Now, I would have been inclined to stop and to talk to her, but felt that might have been awkward with my two aunts by my side, so I missed an opportunity. Oh well.
I saw a few other expats on the MRT, one of whom gave me the head nod and smile when we both exited the MRT at the same time. I asked if I really stuck out that much, and he gave a hearty laugh and went along his way. I guess it's pretty bad if even the white people can pick me out amongst my own race.
I awake to my dad turning the light on into my room at 7am, which really,really, annoys me, but I am rested, so I begrudgingly wake up. The day consists of traveling downtown to get my visa issue taken care of, only to find out that I can't get a visa, since I'm already here. That means I'll have to leave Taiwan in 30 days and come back, so I'll get a trip to somewhere in Asia. Maybe Japan to visit my buddy Jason.
After the visa fiasco, I search around and find a place to take my Macbook Pro to be serviced, with the guy telling me to be back by 6pm, since he can't call me, as I am still without a working phone. In the meantime, I decided I need to take care of that problem, so I go get a prepaid SIM and pop it into my iPhone. I head back to the Apple shop, only for him to tell me that he can't get it working either, so he's sending it in to get the hard drive replaced, and I'll get it back on Wednesday. Here's hoping that it works when I get it back, and I can load all my stuff back onto it. It'll suck to have lost 2 years worth of photos.
For dinner, I call my dad, and we meet up for with his new girlfriend, who seems nice, but I still need to get to know her. After watching my dad interact with her, I am amazed at how he was able to land my mom with the way that he acts with women. Maybe it's just a different generational and cultural thing, partially the reason maybe I have a hard time connecting with my old man. My dad and I take the MRT back home, where he tortured me before going to sleep with his accordion playing.
Saturday, February 6th:
I went out with my dad to a hosted lunch by one of his friends celebrating CNY. He introduced me to one of his friends who has some experience in the semiconductor industry, and to discuss my career path/future. I later find out from my dad that he asked him to talk to me about trying to stay within an industry and not jump around from place to place. He said he had it in mind that if his friend helps me, then when his friend's child grows up, I can help him out too. It doesn't always quite work like that, as much as we would like it to.
After lunch, my dad and I parted ways, him to play mahjong with his friends, me to buy stuff for the condo, since my dad clearly does not know how to live like a decent bachelor. I went to the Carrefour (think super walmart) one stop down on the MRT from home, only to find the store had closed one week earlier. I think the sign said something about renovating it? I have no idea. In any case, I walk the rest of the way home, only to make it back right before it started pouring. I ended up staying the rest of the afternoon/night in catching up on tv shows and being bored out of my mind. I really need to start meeting people my own age to get out more.
Sunday, February 6th:
Today's the day I go see my mom's side of the family, who I hadn't see in 5 years, which was the last time I visited Taiwan. But first, I head over to the Shilin area to check out my dad's shop. He's rented out the 2nd and 3rd floors, but worked out a deal with the building's owner to have a giant advertisement on the outside of the building along the windows for all 5 floors. It's really well done, and looks pretty in the evening. The latest advertisement he has out features pictures of my brother and sister-in-law from their wedding photos, along with some other random women in dresses.
I take a look around, and it's well done inside, but then he sits me down to rehash/lecture the story of how he got to be where he is in his business. Now, I've heard this story before, multiple times even, and I got it the first time he told me. It's all getting a little old and tired, especially the part on him lecturing me about life and my career/future, etc, etc. It gets to the point I actually start developing a headache just from listening to it. I *rarely* get headaches, which will show you how much it actually bothers me listening to the same tired speech. I quickly nod and agree to everything just so I can leave and get to seeing my mom's side of the family.
After another 40min MRT ride, I finally make it to Banqiao, where four of my mom's six siblings are there to greet me, along with three of my nine cousins. It was great to see them again, and my little cousins are all grown up, but they all say that I haven't changed a bit, except that I lost some weight. I stay the day there, catch up with them, eat lunch/snacks/dinner before eventually heading to the MRT station to head back home. This entire time, my youngest cousin of 10 years old seems fascinated by me, and my general lack of knowledge of certain words and the inability to read most words. She's very inquisitive, asking if I know this word or that word, and being a typical 10 year old kid. Now, what I wasn't expecting was the joke that she told me that was for all intents and purposes, pretty racist. I won't repeat it on the blog, but I was in shock that my 10 year old female cousin. Definitely nothing on how my aunt/uncle raise her, but more so I think on playground humor, and how it's perpetuated as commonplace in Taiwan/Asia.
On the way back to the MRT, I have my first pretty white girl sighting in a very unlikely place. She was by herself on a street that's filled with street vendors for food during the day, but at night it's fairly empty and just an alleyway that doesn't even have a street designation on a map. Not a place you would expect to find a foreigner, and definitely not a pretty female one at that. Now, I would have been inclined to stop and to talk to her, but felt that might have been awkward with my two aunts by my side, so I missed an opportunity. Oh well.
I saw a few other expats on the MRT, one of whom gave me the head nod and smile when we both exited the MRT at the same time. I asked if I really stuck out that much, and he gave a hearty laugh and went along his way. I guess it's pretty bad if even the white people can pick me out amongst my own race.
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