It will have been 14 years since that song came out from the Counting Crows, yet it still resonates with me. The soulful lyrics bring me back to those lonely December nights where I felt I had no direction in life, and the month just seemed to stretch on forever. The weather being cold, drab and overcast only added to the misery.
This December marks 20 years since my mom passed away so unexpectedly. My family tells me that I changed so much overnight, from a rambunctious 10 year old to one that was very quiet. While my character change was dramatic, her death and subsequent losses the next few years made me the person I am today. Strong willed. Independent. Caring. For that, I am happy in the fact that I know I am the kind of man that would make a mother proud of her son. Yet I feel incomplete. There is still a yearning to explore and enjoy life and all its wonders and mysteries, but also at the same time settle down and raise a family. Who knows what the next year will bring, but like the lyrics say, "maybe this year will be better than the last."
:: hugs ::
ReplyDeleteYour mom would be so proud of the person you've become.