For this exercise, you might find it helpful to write it down or type it out. I find that it's easier, plus it'll keep a record of things you have already stated in the past.
To start, think back to yesterday, and remember something that made you smile. For me, it was talking to some friends back in Texas, and one had remembered a favor I asked of him about 5 months ago. The favor had languished in my mind, as it was not really important and wouldn't be affecting me until I met up with him in November (next week!!!), but now I could get it on my own when I head back in February. Nonetheless, the sentiment was greatly appreciated.
Next, think back to last week and remember something that made you smile or happy. Thinking back, it had to be Saturday, where I got to witness my coworker get married, then attending a BBQ with friends, and introducing what true southern BBQ is supposed to be like.
Moving on, this time to last month (October). Hands down, the last minute visit from my brother before he moved back to the States. My brother, father and myself went driving through Taiwan and stayed a night on top of a mountain, where we conversed, ate and drank some delicious 18 year old scotch. It was a father/son bonding experience that was never there growing up, and one that I'll cherish forever.
Now we get to the hard part, and skip years. Last year (November, 2010). I finally started getting in to my groove with meeting new people, and was introduced to a fantastic group of people at a traditional Thanksgiving Dinner right in the heart of Taipei. The night and the view is something I'll never forget.
Even tougher now, last decade (November, 2000). At the time, college was in full swing and my life revolved around the Longhorn Band, as I was on the Big Bertha Crew and my girlfriend at the time was marching in the LHB. The annual football game with the Aggies was still played on Thanksgiving Day, where we beat them 43-17 that year (I had to look that one up) and went on to lose to the Oregon Ducks in the Holiday Bowl. Since my girlfriend was from out of state and I didn't want to drive down to Houston, we spent it with others who happened to not be with family that day. It was a great time and a great meal had by all the wonderful people that attended.
This exercise is meant to help us remind us of those memories that have settled to the bottoms of our brains, along with so many others. However, in raising these memories, we also disturb those around it, much like sand on the bottom of the ocean, that we can use for the exercise next time. If you try this exercise I'd love to read what happy memories you dig up!
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
The storm has passed...
And with it, a calm has settled here in the form of brilliant blue skies and an air of change lingering through the clouds. Yet winter looms. The time of year I both love and hate. Only time will tell how much change this year's passing season will bring, but hope springs eternal.
I meet up with my friends from home for a much needed vacation in a little over two weeks, and that Friday can't get here soon enough. I look forward to catching up with friends I haven't seen in a year, to hearing and sharing things I've missed in my absence. That's really the hardest thing for me, not being there for my friends when they need a pick me up and vice versa. New friends are made, but they will never replace the trusted confidants that have been developed over years of bonded happiness and sadness. I still search for that dance partner in life, but she eludes me. The game teases me. Mocks me even. But I hold my head up and keep moving forward. That's all I can do.
I meet up with my friends from home for a much needed vacation in a little over two weeks, and that Friday can't get here soon enough. I look forward to catching up with friends I haven't seen in a year, to hearing and sharing things I've missed in my absence. That's really the hardest thing for me, not being there for my friends when they need a pick me up and vice versa. New friends are made, but they will never replace the trusted confidants that have been developed over years of bonded happiness and sadness. I still search for that dance partner in life, but she eludes me. The game teases me. Mocks me even. But I hold my head up and keep moving forward. That's all I can do.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Memories of yesteryear
It's funny how the human mind works. Each sense can invoke a memory long dormant, stored in the recesses of our brain. The smell of a flower. The silhouette of an image. The hum of a song. The taste of something you forgot you once had. The familiar trace of fingers along your body.
Sometimes the good memories show up, and it brightens your entire day. Sometimes they'll bring a tear to your eye and shake you to your core.
Good or bad, the memories that burst through make who I am. What I am. And those experiences helped to shape my life to the point it's at now. My mother passed when she was 39, barely having seen a fraction of the wonders that my eyes have witnessed in the last four. Her death fractured our family apart, as she was the glue that held us intact. Only in the last few years have the pieces of my family been precariously placed back together. It's been slow going, but the difference is noticeably night and day. This bonding of father and son and the continuing life lessons are what helped me decide to remain in Taiwan for another year, though my heart yearns to be back home in Texas, where my friends are, where things are familiar.
Don't worry though, I'll be back for a while, and before you know it, I'll be back for good. Just try not to forget about me.
Sometimes the good memories show up, and it brightens your entire day. Sometimes they'll bring a tear to your eye and shake you to your core.
Good or bad, the memories that burst through make who I am. What I am. And those experiences helped to shape my life to the point it's at now. My mother passed when she was 39, barely having seen a fraction of the wonders that my eyes have witnessed in the last four. Her death fractured our family apart, as she was the glue that held us intact. Only in the last few years have the pieces of my family been precariously placed back together. It's been slow going, but the difference is noticeably night and day. This bonding of father and son and the continuing life lessons are what helped me decide to remain in Taiwan for another year, though my heart yearns to be back home in Texas, where my friends are, where things are familiar.
Don't worry though, I'll be back for a while, and before you know it, I'll be back for good. Just try not to forget about me.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Random memory of the day
As I rode on the MRT to work today, I stared out the window and noticed some clothes being hung out to dry and saw some ladies
undergarments (read: granny panties). That reminded me of my trip to Shanghai last year when I was visiting my good friend Victor who was there for work. We were exploring the city, walking through various neighborhoods and enjoying the architecture, when I noticed some laundry hanging to dry and noticed a pair of granny panties. No big deal, except that there was a skid mark on the back side. And that folks, is my random memory of the day.
undergarments (read: granny panties). That reminded me of my trip to Shanghai last year when I was visiting my good friend Victor who was there for work. We were exploring the city, walking through various neighborhoods and enjoying the architecture, when I noticed some laundry hanging to dry and noticed a pair of granny panties. No big deal, except that there was a skid mark on the back side. And that folks, is my random memory of the day.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
I am...
I am a brother.
I am a son.
I am a friend.
I am a confidant.
I am Taiwanese.
I am Texan.
I am a Longhorn alum.
I am loyal.
I am fearful.
I am introspective.
I am hopeful.
I am filled with happiness.
I am empty.
I am tired.
I am imperfect.
I am human.
I am me.
Me.
Me.
I am a son.
I am a friend.
I am a confidant.
I am Taiwanese.
I am Texan.
I am a Longhorn alum.
I am loyal.
I am fearful.
I am introspective.
I am hopeful.
I am filled with happiness.
I am empty.
I am tired.
I am imperfect.
I am human.
I am me.
Me.
Me.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
So you want to work in Taiwan (or insert Asian country)...
Before you take the plunge, there's a lot you should know about what you're getting yourself in to. Please note that these are more for observations of corporate Taiwan, but after talking to friends in other Asian countries, could very well apply there too.
1. The pay is shit unless you are a foreigner. I'm in Taiwan as a Taiwanese citizen, which means I get paid a local salary. Not very high at all, but bonuses are structured where you could make almost your entire year's salary with a single bonus. I think that's how they avoid certain taxes, or so I'm told.
2. HR determines the pay, not your manager/director, and they base it on age, a little on degree level, and almost none on experience. Once my contract/probationary period was over, my manager had told me my salary would be reduced a little bit to adjust for a 14 month salary in Taiwan (standard 12 month, plus 2 month bonus for Chinese New Year). I was fine with this. My reviews came back, and everyone thought I did a great job, so my manager told me I was to be bumped up an extra $7k NT (~$240US) a month, not exactly a small amount for Taiwan. I didn't ask for it, but I was of course happy. She signed off, as well as the director. HR comes back and flatly says NO. They said I would have been the highest paid person in the group (not including my foreign coworker). In fact, they weren't going to even offer what they originally offered, they were going to reduce it $2k NT LESS, so it was a total of a $9k NT swing. A coworker who I am about 5 months older than has been with the company for 5 years - 3 years in the UK office before transferring back to Taiwan these last 2. He makes $1k NT more a month than I do. That's a little over $30US.
3. Most people get burned out within 2 years.. It's such a burn and churn mentality, with most people just there for the resume recognition. The company's mentality is if you don't want to work here, you're easily replaceable and we don't want you. What they don't realize is that it costs more money to them in the long run. They have to train these new people from scratch, which takes up time for teaching them not only what they need to do for the job, but the company culture. They could definitely learn a lesson in a proper, non-disposable work force.
4. They expect you to "work" long hours. It's all about "face", or a game of office chicken. Who's the first to blink and leave home early? It's considered bad form to leave before your manager. And if the director doesn't leave before 10-11pm, it has a bit of a trickle down effect. So a lot of times, people are staying in the office for the sake of looking like they're doing something, even if they're just surfing the web. Luckily, my manager is based in the UK, and doesn't care as long as I get my job done.
5. They like to get in to your personal life. Are you married? Do you have a girlfriend? Oh you should meet this one girl, you two would be great together! (this was the first day in the office). This is just culture. Families will always ask if you have a g/f, if you've been promoted, you've lost/gained weight, etc, but that's family. They do it in the office here as well. Some things are better just left unsaid.
6. Not very many think outside the box or creatively. This is more to do with the culture and education system. The education system in Asia is that of forced memorization. That's how the language is learned, through strict repetition and memorization. This carries on throughout college. They're so good at spouting off memorized facts, but don't know how to put what they've learned in to practice. They lack a lot of creativity.
7. The manager (or director/VP/CEO) is always right. Even where they're very, very wrong. Again, this is a culture issue. The Asian culture is that of respecting your elders, and listening to what they say. Learning from their information that they've gleamed from their many decades on earth. This is translated into the work place, and not for the better. If the CEO or VPs suggest something, the directors and managers blindly follow and instruct their reports to do it/get the job done. Then they come to me. Even after I presented them with feedback stating that this is a bad idea/doesn't make sense (they do want a western point of view, and my team and I are it), they refuse to listen and inform the manager. They're too scared to provide bad feedback, and will continue forward until, well, too late.
8. The younger workers are way too coddled. If you think the American Millennial generation is bad, wait until you meet the Asians of the same age. I meet more locals who are my age who live at home with their parents than those who don't. They can barely take direct feedback, and get super emotional if they perceive anything you say to be negative towards them. I'm from Texas. I'm direct, I don't tip-toe around and waste my time and yours with making everything soft and rosy. I tell it as it is, not to hurt, but to be straight forward so we can move on with what we're doing.
9. They have no idea how to budget time properly. I budget my time properly, part of the reason I can leave at a reasonable time instead of staying until 9pm+. Everything they do is so last minute, it frustrates me to no end. Just one of many examples: They got funding/approval to launch the marketing campaign for our 1st tablet 3 weeks before the release date. 3 weeks to write a script, shoot/edit videos, and put together a launch campaign that we've known they've wanted to do and forecasted for over 4 months. Why so late? UGH. For those of you who saw the "commercials" you know how terrible they were. I tried to prevent them, but go back to point #7.
I know all this sounds like I'm hating on Taiwan, but the experience here is really good. I get to be a part of creative branding team for a global company from the beginning, something that's not really possible back in the states. It's definitely a great resume builder. A lot of it is also just venting, as I've been frustrated at work with some of the people I work with. It makes me want to move back sooner rather than later. We'll see. Until next time.
1. The pay is shit unless you are a foreigner. I'm in Taiwan as a Taiwanese citizen, which means I get paid a local salary. Not very high at all, but bonuses are structured where you could make almost your entire year's salary with a single bonus. I think that's how they avoid certain taxes, or so I'm told.
2. HR determines the pay, not your manager/director, and they base it on age, a little on degree level, and almost none on experience. Once my contract/probationary period was over, my manager had told me my salary would be reduced a little bit to adjust for a 14 month salary in Taiwan (standard 12 month, plus 2 month bonus for Chinese New Year). I was fine with this. My reviews came back, and everyone thought I did a great job, so my manager told me I was to be bumped up an extra $7k NT (~$240US) a month, not exactly a small amount for Taiwan. I didn't ask for it, but I was of course happy. She signed off, as well as the director. HR comes back and flatly says NO. They said I would have been the highest paid person in the group (not including my foreign coworker). In fact, they weren't going to even offer what they originally offered, they were going to reduce it $2k NT LESS, so it was a total of a $9k NT swing. A coworker who I am about 5 months older than has been with the company for 5 years - 3 years in the UK office before transferring back to Taiwan these last 2. He makes $1k NT more a month than I do. That's a little over $30US.
3. Most people get burned out within 2 years.. It's such a burn and churn mentality, with most people just there for the resume recognition. The company's mentality is if you don't want to work here, you're easily replaceable and we don't want you. What they don't realize is that it costs more money to them in the long run. They have to train these new people from scratch, which takes up time for teaching them not only what they need to do for the job, but the company culture. They could definitely learn a lesson in a proper, non-disposable work force.
4. They expect you to "work" long hours. It's all about "face", or a game of office chicken. Who's the first to blink and leave home early? It's considered bad form to leave before your manager. And if the director doesn't leave before 10-11pm, it has a bit of a trickle down effect. So a lot of times, people are staying in the office for the sake of looking like they're doing something, even if they're just surfing the web. Luckily, my manager is based in the UK, and doesn't care as long as I get my job done.
5. They like to get in to your personal life. Are you married? Do you have a girlfriend? Oh you should meet this one girl, you two would be great together! (this was the first day in the office). This is just culture. Families will always ask if you have a g/f, if you've been promoted, you've lost/gained weight, etc, but that's family. They do it in the office here as well. Some things are better just left unsaid.
6. Not very many think outside the box or creatively. This is more to do with the culture and education system. The education system in Asia is that of forced memorization. That's how the language is learned, through strict repetition and memorization. This carries on throughout college. They're so good at spouting off memorized facts, but don't know how to put what they've learned in to practice. They lack a lot of creativity.
7. The manager (or director/VP/CEO) is always right. Even where they're very, very wrong. Again, this is a culture issue. The Asian culture is that of respecting your elders, and listening to what they say. Learning from their information that they've gleamed from their many decades on earth. This is translated into the work place, and not for the better. If the CEO or VPs suggest something, the directors and managers blindly follow and instruct their reports to do it/get the job done. Then they come to me. Even after I presented them with feedback stating that this is a bad idea/doesn't make sense (they do want a western point of view, and my team and I are it), they refuse to listen and inform the manager. They're too scared to provide bad feedback, and will continue forward until, well, too late.
8. The younger workers are way too coddled. If you think the American Millennial generation is bad, wait until you meet the Asians of the same age. I meet more locals who are my age who live at home with their parents than those who don't. They can barely take direct feedback, and get super emotional if they perceive anything you say to be negative towards them. I'm from Texas. I'm direct, I don't tip-toe around and waste my time and yours with making everything soft and rosy. I tell it as it is, not to hurt, but to be straight forward so we can move on with what we're doing.
9. They have no idea how to budget time properly. I budget my time properly, part of the reason I can leave at a reasonable time instead of staying until 9pm+. Everything they do is so last minute, it frustrates me to no end. Just one of many examples: They got funding/approval to launch the marketing campaign for our 1st tablet 3 weeks before the release date. 3 weeks to write a script, shoot/edit videos, and put together a launch campaign that we've known they've wanted to do and forecasted for over 4 months. Why so late? UGH. For those of you who saw the "commercials" you know how terrible they were. I tried to prevent them, but go back to point #7.
I know all this sounds like I'm hating on Taiwan, but the experience here is really good. I get to be a part of creative branding team for a global company from the beginning, something that's not really possible back in the states. It's definitely a great resume builder. A lot of it is also just venting, as I've been frustrated at work with some of the people I work with. It makes me want to move back sooner rather than later. We'll see. Until next time.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
We all have our stories
From the time that I was laid off from AMD back in 2008 up until as recently as today, I've been repeating some of my life stories over and over. I don't mind discussing my life and what's brought me up to this point, but just looking back at the last two years, I've lost track of how many times I've talked about it. Most all my closest friends in the states know my history, and I usually kept the same circles of friends and only met new people on occasion. Being in Taiwan, that's a bit different as I knew virtually no one when I got here, so I've had to make a whole new set of friends. It's a easy thing to do, because the expat circles here run so small, that you're likely to have a mutual friend or two with someone you just met, and then from there it becomes a snowball effect for the amount of people you meet. I'm quick to make friends with most people, but don't have too many close friends here, as I believe that's something that takes time.
Over the last few months, I've gotten to the point where I've developed a few close friendships, and we've started sharing more than just the superficial "where are you from, what brought you here, what do you do?" type questions. And that's when you start to delve deeper into the memory banks and recall the good times, and the bad of what's happened in your life. I had an hour long conversation on the phone (of which I rarely make phone calls) discussing some very personal/intense moments that happened in the past, and it just made me sick to my stomach some of the things I heard. If there was a way you could hug someone through the phone, that would have been an appropriate time to do it.
I believe that talking about something is a way to heal and move forward, as it helped me when my mom passed away. I was in 5th grade when she passed, and another classmate's father had passed away only one day before my mother. We were in separate classes, but our respective teachers told both of us that if we ever wanted/needed to talk to the other about anything to the other, all we had to do was ask, and they would allow us to interrupt class to pull the other one out so we could talk outside. Reflecting back, this helped me immensely with moving forward and healing. We ended up going to the same church, junior high, high school and even to UT, but as the years went by, we developed our own circles of friends and drifted in friendship. But her and I will always have a bond, and every year around the time that our parents passed away, my thoughts drift to not just of my mother and my family, but to her and her family. I reached out to her on facebook marking the 20th anniversary this past December, and she replied back saying that I had too had crossed her mind, and noting the bond that we shared. It's a bond that no child should have to share, yet I am happy that there was someone that was able to sympathize and relate with me.
We all have our stories. They're a glimpse into our past that helps paint a picture of what made us who we are today. It's part of the reason I'm here in Taiwan, to learn more about my past, my family and what they endured to get here. From that, we learn and use those stories to help shape our future and know what to do or avoid in the future.
Over the last few months, I've gotten to the point where I've developed a few close friendships, and we've started sharing more than just the superficial "where are you from, what brought you here, what do you do?" type questions. And that's when you start to delve deeper into the memory banks and recall the good times, and the bad of what's happened in your life. I had an hour long conversation on the phone (of which I rarely make phone calls) discussing some very personal/intense moments that happened in the past, and it just made me sick to my stomach some of the things I heard. If there was a way you could hug someone through the phone, that would have been an appropriate time to do it.
I believe that talking about something is a way to heal and move forward, as it helped me when my mom passed away. I was in 5th grade when she passed, and another classmate's father had passed away only one day before my mother. We were in separate classes, but our respective teachers told both of us that if we ever wanted/needed to talk to the other about anything to the other, all we had to do was ask, and they would allow us to interrupt class to pull the other one out so we could talk outside. Reflecting back, this helped me immensely with moving forward and healing. We ended up going to the same church, junior high, high school and even to UT, but as the years went by, we developed our own circles of friends and drifted in friendship. But her and I will always have a bond, and every year around the time that our parents passed away, my thoughts drift to not just of my mother and my family, but to her and her family. I reached out to her on facebook marking the 20th anniversary this past December, and she replied back saying that I had too had crossed her mind, and noting the bond that we shared. It's a bond that no child should have to share, yet I am happy that there was someone that was able to sympathize and relate with me.
We all have our stories. They're a glimpse into our past that helps paint a picture of what made us who we are today. It's part of the reason I'm here in Taiwan, to learn more about my past, my family and what they endured to get here. From that, we learn and use those stories to help shape our future and know what to do or avoid in the future.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
I've been a bad blogger.
For my friends who actually read this from time to time, my apologies for not keeping it updated more frequently. Since how I make a living is now by writing, typing out my thoughts has gotten easier and faster, but it's really the last thing I want to do when I get home from work. I just feel like vegging and just watching some TV or chatting with friends.
Speaking of work, it's been a quick 7 months, and my resume is already padded with accomplishments that most jobs would require 2 years to accumulate. It's definitely good that I'm getting so much experience, but man does it wear down on me. I now know why my company is profitable. It's because the wages here are so cheap, and they get so much value out of their employees. Most employees show up around 9am, and leave around 9pm. That's a solid 11hr work day, with an hour for lunch, which a lot of people eat from their desk and continue to work. Our lunch and dinner costs are subsidized, but it's a small price for them to pay for all the extra work they get out of their employees. Even though I'm only 31, I'm one of the oldest people in the group not counting the director and my manager. Most people in my group are in their mid to late 20's and have not been there for very long. It seems to be a burn and churn type work environment, with most people staying on for two years to pad the resume, then bounce when they get too burned out. It's a shame they don't offer better benefits to employees to retain them, because training new people up to speed every two years is not very productive or cost efficient. 0 days of vacation the first year, and only 7 days in years 1-3? count me unimpressed. I'd be interested to see the attrition rate data for a company this size.
Enough bitching about work. Since my last post, I've been to Hong Kong, which was fantastic, though I think I gained a few pounds. I also went to Singapore last weekend for my birthday, where I spent time with my brother, sister-in-law. My dad and his g/f tagged along as well, so it was a bit of a family trip. It was good to spend time together as a family, but I don't think I'll be doing any more traveling with my dad. I can handle him in small doses, but not extended sessions longer than 2 days.
I hope to be doing some traveling for work soon, maybe even a trip or two to the states! I'm really hoping to stop by and visit, I miss you all!
Speaking of work, it's been a quick 7 months, and my resume is already padded with accomplishments that most jobs would require 2 years to accumulate. It's definitely good that I'm getting so much experience, but man does it wear down on me. I now know why my company is profitable. It's because the wages here are so cheap, and they get so much value out of their employees. Most employees show up around 9am, and leave around 9pm. That's a solid 11hr work day, with an hour for lunch, which a lot of people eat from their desk and continue to work. Our lunch and dinner costs are subsidized, but it's a small price for them to pay for all the extra work they get out of their employees. Even though I'm only 31, I'm one of the oldest people in the group not counting the director and my manager. Most people in my group are in their mid to late 20's and have not been there for very long. It seems to be a burn and churn type work environment, with most people staying on for two years to pad the resume, then bounce when they get too burned out. It's a shame they don't offer better benefits to employees to retain them, because training new people up to speed every two years is not very productive or cost efficient. 0 days of vacation the first year, and only 7 days in years 1-3? count me unimpressed. I'd be interested to see the attrition rate data for a company this size.
Enough bitching about work. Since my last post, I've been to Hong Kong, which was fantastic, though I think I gained a few pounds. I also went to Singapore last weekend for my birthday, where I spent time with my brother, sister-in-law. My dad and his g/f tagged along as well, so it was a bit of a family trip. It was good to spend time together as a family, but I don't think I'll be doing any more traveling with my dad. I can handle him in small doses, but not extended sessions longer than 2 days.
I hope to be doing some traveling for work soon, maybe even a trip or two to the states! I'm really hoping to stop by and visit, I miss you all!
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